It’s been nearly a year since I’ve written. Well, truly written. I’ve shared about the work I’ve done in their name but not truly much about them – or me. As their second birthday nears – only a week away – I realize I’ve still never written about their first birthday. I have folders neatly organized in a folder that says “new posts”. Perhaps I’ll go back and write about them and find a way to post-date. It doesn’t do me much good to have them sitting there. The emotion behind many of the images is gone, drifted in the wind, but the sentiment remains.
Looking back on their first birthday comes with bittersweet memories. We were blessed with so many unspeakably beautiful, thoughtful, kind gifts. These are the things that have seemed to paralyze me it seems. Since the moment I received our first gift I’ve tried to put words to my thankfulness and I come up empty. Words can’t express what I feel. I took pictures. I set aside ideas of how I’d say just the right things… and then I did nothing.
I realized some time ago that if I didn’t write this post I’d never write again. It seems odd in the comparative of all the hard things I’ve written here that the one about beauty and thankfulness is the one that’s hard to write. Gratitude is a hard thing to put to words when it runs so deep. The same words remain unwritten when it comes to the support we received in the time that we were pregnant and shortly after our loss. Words don’t exist to truly express how we feel.
So with that said, please know, if you’ve sent us a card, a note, a gift, a phone call or email – all of it mattered. We’re forever grateful that you’ve remembered us and most importantly that you’ve remembered Alice, Elliot and Alexis
Here’s a few of the beautiful gifts we received in 2013 for their first birthday.