Alice Mae: An Angel Tale

Some of you know that I’ve had the opportunity to write for a mommy blog (Baby Loving Mama) and recently I reviewed an online source for fully customizable children’s books. None of the prewritten stories made sense for my little ones but the great thing about Trueberry Books is the fact that I could write my OWN story. (See Baby Loving Mama for the review and a chance to win your own Trueberry Book for a limited time only.)

Trueberry books’ beautiful little fairy was the perfect inspiration for the story I wrote (with the helpful editing eyes of my mom) about my little angel baby Alice Mae. I thought I’d share it with you!

I’m hoping it will help us talk about the babies with Nora now and as she gets older. Lately she’s been playing pretend and one of her pretend “friends” has been named Alice. It makes me smile.

All illustrations are ©Leyla Akdogan and Trueberry Books. All text is ©Janelle Wourms. Please respect these copyrights but feel free to share this post with your friends or others who have lost a child. Maybe this is a way that you could remember your little one as well?

(click on images to see them larger)

Alice Mae: An Angel Tale
By Janelle Wourms
Illustrated by Leyla Akdogan via Trueberry Books

In Heaven lives an angel.
Her name is Alice Mae.
Her family loves her oh so much
but watched her fly away.

When God made little Alice,
He knew she’d never run.
Now she’s flying in the warmth
of the evening’s setting sun.

He took her broken back and legs
and gave her wings instead.
She paints the sky with sunsets
while you rest your weary head.

She helps Heaven’s little children
send encouragement below,
back to saddened loves ones
who miss their babies so.

Alice Mae loves to teach
new angels how to fly.
She shows them how
to spread their wings
with a twinkle in her eye.

She paints the skies at sunset
and makes bubbles on the beach.
She flies above the water
leaving clouds of orange and peach.

When Alice misses loved ones
she sends joy from up above.
Butterflies, birds and dragonflies
help Alice show her love.

Playing hide and seek all day
is always so much fun.
Alexis counted up to ten,
now Elliot better run!

Alice Mae loves to play,
especially pretend.
“Won’t you come and join us now?
Remember, bring a friend!”

What fun to run in the grass
or playing in the sand.
Alice, Alexis and Elliot
always hand in hand.

Looking over her sister
at the end of every day.
Alice waits for bedtime stories
and joins us when we pray.

Happily ever after
is in Heaven up above,
forever spreading joy
and sharing God’s true love.

A Mother’s Guilt

A friend I’ve known only through an online support group recently wrote these words to me and I felt I needed to share with other mothers who might also feel the guilt of the loss of their children. I found such comfort in what she says here:

Yes, the guilt. Every mother feels it because….we are mothers. Something that set me free was realizing how imperfect I am. I was never called to be my children’s savior. I never could be. Only One is their Savior. Only He is perfect. There is this verse I love, “or he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust” Psalm 103:14. God never wanted us to be “super moms” or “heros”…No, he did it all for us already on the cross. We have to lean on Him for the strength we could never have to live this life that is full of so many disappointments. I don’t know why God allowed me to be so excited for twins, prepare a room…get so close to finish line, hear my prayers of Thanksgiving at church and yet all the time knowing I would be holding one dead and one living baby…I realize, however, that God chose to use His perfect son to redeem us all and that this life is just a moment, but a vapor. When I realized that love has saved Julian, that Jesus’ penalty for sin on the cross SAVED him already and broke the sting of death (“Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”1Cor 15:55), I realize that in this present moment we are temporarily separated…there is a reunion day coming when those ashes that are in my urn….and bodies that are buried, wherever they may be, hear the sound of the trumpet, they will rise and come together. I had to face my faith in a different way- either everything I had believed all my life was a lie, or it was truer than I had even realized…and for me, it was truer. I realized that Julian is no longer in my past, but he is in my future. The pain, oh my gosh the pain that is so deep and dark that you cannot touch it- where you long for drugs or death, that pain is very real and God knew I would have to endure it the way His son endured an unfair, unjust cross, but to be resurrected and lifted as the name above every name. Things don’t make sense to us now, but there is a day coming when it will come together and the faith you hold onto now, is working for you an eternal glory.

Read more from Adrienne on her blog: Vessels of Glory