2012: Capture Your Grief: Day 8

Day 8. Jewelry Do you have a piece of jewelry in memory of your baby/ies/child/ren? Share it!

My thoughts: I’ve been so blessed with the pieces I have to remember my babies. These have been some of the most comforting things I own because I can emotionally tolerate wearing them without breaking down and it helps me feel like they are with me all the time. I have links to the sites that made some of these on the main page of the blog if you’re interested in buying for a friend or family member.

1: This beautiful nest was made by my friend from church. I found it sitting on my bedside table in the hospital the day after the babies passed away and have no recollection of how it got there. I believe someone told me that she made it prior to their passing. I wore it the entire day and in all of the pictures I have with them that day. Three pearl eggs and their big sister’s birth stone.

2: Three beautiful little hearts, each with their first initials on the front (A E A) and their birth date on the back (2 3 12). I have no idea who had this made for me. I got it at their funeral inside of a plain envelope stuffed with cash. I have no way of thanking whomever had this made – so if you’re reading this please know how much it means to me. This is one of my absolute favorite pieces. I mean that in no offense to any of the others or the people they came from. Here’s why: when I wear things that others gave me I often spend the day thinking of those people. When I wear this necklace I think of my babies. It’s small and sweet and goes with anything. It symbolizes pure and selfless love to me.

3: This beautiful necklace I got in the mail the day of the funeral. I came home, exhausted, and opened a little box shipped from far away. My best friends had it made for me and I adore it. I love that it has their full names on it. It has their birth date. And it has the saying that my friend put on their funeral card, “Always in our hearts.” I also love it because I remember my friends.

4: Another one from a stranger. I got this via my mother-in-law. A woman heard about our story through her church prayer chain and had suffered the loss of a child herself. She reached out with a card and this beautiful necklace. I love this one for the same reason as the little hearts. I think of the babies when I wear it. Their names are beautiful and very readable on it. The little heart helps me feel like their names are protected and safe in some way and reminds me of the same little saying as I mentioned above. I have yet to find a way to contact the woman who gave this to me so again – if you’re reading this – please know just how much I love this and your gesture. I wear it all the time (I am right now!).

5: A new pendant I recently bought for myself. A dragonfly. I have yet to wear it but it reminded me of the sweet moments I’ve had this summer/fall with dragonflies visiting me three at at time. The text run in the background is about grace. I love it.

6: A beautiful bracelet that one of Nate’s coworkers had made for me. I’m wearing it right now. Each of the stones represents baby loss. There’s a flower for each baby with their birth stone on each side. It also has a sweet heart like the others. The woman who makes these has gone through loss as well and uses this as a way to give back.

7: I found this the other day. It’s the first jewelry that Nate and I got when we were 17 years old (if you don’t count the duct tape ring he made for me). We each had matching footprint rings and he had a necklace I made him with a footprint charm on it. I wore this every single day prior to my wedding ring replacing it. I don’t even recall why we loved them so much but I can’t look at footprints today without thinking about them and it seems ironic in a way that it follows us back so far in our relationship. We talked about having twins together from some of the earliest conversations we had when we were dating.

8: I ordered dog tags from Graham’s Foundation so Nate had something. I knew how much my gifts meant to me to wear and feel them near me and I wanted that for him. Sadly they turned his neck green so now it hangs from his review mirror. I have an extra in case something happens to that one. I also had a copper key chain post made for him for father’s day with the babies’ names on it, Nora’s name, and two little hearts for the two unnamed.

9: I would have given anything to actually wear these bracelets. They were all made and ready – but we never got to wear them.


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