2012: Capture Your Grief: Day 2

Day 2. Before Loss Self Portrait
 A photo of you before your loss.

My thoughts: Our wedding day. I see so many mothers posting pictures of their pregnancies and beautiful baby bellies. I sifted through my brain trying to decide which belly picture I’d show off. The one with my daughter showing off her little belly too? One from bed rest? One from the hospital? And then it hit me. My loss happened far before the loss of our triplets. Yes this is the grief that has sent us into a spiral but it is layers and layers above the loss that we buried deep so many years ago. The loss that nobody talks about. First the miscarriage. Then the ectopic loss after our first IUI attempt. We didn’t name them. We didn’t know them. We didn’t see them and hold them. Yet they are our children. So this – our wedding day – this is my “before loss” picture. A day when we still held hope and dreams and perfection in our hearts. Those things are still there at times – but changed forever.


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