“…I Will See You Again”

Recently I discovered the labor nurse (whom I so clearly believe was a key in saving my life during my first labor/delivery with my daughter) was also with me when I delivered Elliot and Alexis. (I use the word discovered because I have little to no memory of the people around me during that day as I was in such great pain.)

I tell the story of our first encounter at Baby Loving Mama. Feel free to read it there (FYI: nominations for the nurse program are open until June 29th, 2012)

I’m not sure I have it in me to explain the full story of what this nurse, Kathy has shared with me in the last day. She gave details about my labor/delivery that I’m not sure I’m fully capable of processing right now. I consider them a gift, but one that is filled with both joy and sorrow which seems to be a standard thought for this entire journey. Maybe when I find the strength to actually share the story of that day I can include some of her memories as well.

The sweetest gift is knowing that SHE was the one who weighed them and took their footprints. Such amazing gifts that I treasure every single day. I know that my babies were being lovingly cared for by a team of nurses who all wept for them when they weren’t in my arms.

That said, in the midst of sharing this information with my mom she gave me this bit of scripture to hold near. Mom explained that Jesus was speaking to his followers about the time when He would leave them.

A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.

New King James Version: John 16:21

What a gift to learn that Jesus found some sort of relation to a woman in labor, and that He linked it to a message regarding the hope that we will see Him again and have joy. There is such truth in the reality that woman can so clearly divide the moments of absolute agony with pure joy the moment their child is born. I clearly remember that when my daughter was born three and a half years ago. I was critically ill and yet my joy in her life overshadowed all of that in the following days.

With my babies my joy was never pure. It was always tainted with agony, physical and emotional pain. I don’t know how to divide those moments because the pain continues. I don’t know how to forget the moments of pain because I am then forgetting the only moments I had with my children.

I will forever connect the day that I see Him with the day that I will see them… my children. I pray this is another verse to provide comfort to any mother who has had to endure the labor and delivery of a child/ren that they fully know they must give back to God too soon. I can’t explain what that is like and I can’t explain how I survived it. I can only pray that He can provide the comfort that I need to continue living with the joy eternal that I hope for in Heaven that “I will see you again.”

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